| weekend |
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| 12:44pm 31/10/2004 |
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mood:  exhausted
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what a great weekend!!! got kinda drunk friday night, got really drunk saturday night. now its sunday, and i have a headache and hw to do. later |
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| bored!!! |
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| 11:03pm 28/10/2004 |
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mood: bored
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so bored!!!!!!!!! |
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| buffalo |
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| 09:44pm 25/10/2004 |
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mood:  giddy
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went to buffalo this weekend for a HILLEL convention. it was awesome!!!! lots of good times with some of fav oswego people. sat night we drank in niagara CANADA and that was awesome. had a great time. cant wait for next convention in albany. i couldnt believe how big the UB campus was, it was like its own little city. but i love oswego. convention was great. hard 2 believe one year ago i wasn't in oswego
now its monday and i have a fun week to look forward to. also got my trads today and they look great. i love oswego, i love zbt, i love life. now if i just had a special someone to cuddle with. but, all good things come to those who wait. |
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| BIG!! |
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| 02:04pm 20/10/2004 |
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mood:  excited
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Auditions for BIG are december 2nd-4th. i'm very excited!!! |
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| update |
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| 10:13am 17/10/2004 |
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mood: disappointed music: "Fine Fine Line"-Ave Q
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so, it's the end of parents weekend. i had a good time with my family for the most part. I hate how my dad gets weird every time he thinks I know a guy better than a friend. I usually just imply stuff to play with head, but his reaction pisses me off. Sometimes it's like I never told him anything.
Infinity's House closes today and it's about time. It's def 1 of the worst shows I've ever been in. We did a good job with it, and I'm proud of my performance,, but as a show, it sucks and it'll be great fun ripping down that set today.
Next weekend is going to be great. Going to Buffalo for convention and I can't wait. It's going to be a blast. Speaking of buffalo, a guy I like is from there. However, once again, ((and this isn't a jab at him)) he doesn't feel the same. It's always a 1 way street for me, I like him, he doesn't like me, or he likes me, i don't like him. But this guy, I really do like him alot, and I'm glad we're friends cause our friendship is pretty good, but he knows I wish it were more. He's awesome. we have soo many things in common, lots of stuff to talk about, we have a great time when we're together. He's smart, intelligent, into theatre, he sings, sweet and really, really cute. he's an amazing guy and I like him so much and I wish he were feeling the same. I still have hope that 1 day he'll feel the same, but for now friends are good. we are pretty good friends and I'm trying to realize that's what counts. but it's hard, because I like him alot. i just want someone to cuddle with really, i wish it was him, but right now it can't be. i didn't expect me and this guy to start dating right away, but, I thought maybe 1 day in the future there would be a chance. this guy knows who he is, and If you read this, just know I meant what I said when I told you I'm really glad for our friendship, but, I can't help liking you and hoping that'll it become more one day in te future. I think if we had a chance, it could be really, really good. but i know you don't see that, or feel that way and so that's that. but I will still sorta hope that 1 day, it can be more.
well, thats enough of that. I have to go get ready for the closing performance of Infinity's House. leave comments n such |
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| today |
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| 01:29am 10/10/2004 |
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mood: excited
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Today was quite an awesome day. I went to the mall with some awesome people; 1 of them being this guy I really like. I don't wanna say that much abt him here, but he's awesome. and i did buy some nice things in the mall, thank god for sales!!!! then 2nite was Inifnity's House again and it was pretty good. but the highlight of my day was definitly the mall, had a great time. and this particular guy, is really great. but only time will tell what will happen. |
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| stressed |
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| 01:27am 04/10/2004 |
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mood: depressed
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just feelin kinda stressed. have been for a few days. lots of rehearsal, i think it's just tiring me out. the weekend was ok didnt do anythin on friday night. sat night, i hung out with lawrence, steven and john and we watched chicago. it was an akward night but still fun. i just wish i didnt have all these worries and fears stored in my head |
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| update |
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| 05:22pm 24/09/2004 |
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mood: cheerful music: "God Dont Make No Trash" -BARE
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TGIF!!! its been a pretty good week. next week, i have 3 tests, have to start studying for them. Tomorrow night is ZBT closed rush and that should be pretty exciting. Things are going pretty well and the semester is movin along nicely. My friend John got me to listen to Ben Folds Five and I must say its good stuff; so thanks john :-) Its nice to listen to stuff that isn't Broadway all the time. Gotta thank Dee for takin me to get a much needed haircut; and we had some delicious chinese food along the way :-) Everyone whose from Oswego reading this must come see me in Infinity's House Oct 7-9 and 15-17. The Oct 7th perf is only $5!!!
well, i think thats abt it for now. gotta go get ready for rehearsal |
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| quick update |
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| 10:56pm 20/09/2004 |
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mood: refreshed music: "ROLE OF A LIFETIME"-BARE
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Monday's stink, especially when you have a cold. Not to bad a day. Had 2 classes, woman's history is boring but I'm doing well in it so that makes up for the boringness and well, the professor is a really nice lady. Rehearsed for Infinity's House again tonight, as I do every night. It's going well and I like it much more than I thought I would.
Feelin pretty good, all the sadness from friday night has disappeared. I do hate when I cry nonstop for 3 hrs but alcohol can do sum pretty non fun things to ya. All my insecurities and fears just start pouring out. Luckily Katie and D were able to put up with me and help me through the night. I'm sure others helped me too, but alot of the night is a blur.
ZBT is great too. Ever since I joined, I've gotten so much more comfortable with myself. I've never really had many guy friends but I feel so close with all these guys, but especially the thetas. It's been so awesome knowing you all and you've really helped me grow. When I'm with them, I'm just totally myself and it feels pretty damn good.
All in all this is shaping up to be a pretty good year. Just gotta take everything one day at a time. Thanks for reading, leave comments |
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| I'm back |
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| 12:31pm 19/09/2004 |
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mood: determined music: "Dont Rain On My Parade"-Funny Girl
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So i figured I would start updating this thing again and really try to stick with it this time. So, this weekend was a pretty good one. Lots of people now understand why my nickname is Teardrop. Friday night I weas rather upset/depressed and had wayyyyyyyyy to much to drink and it was like opening the flood gates. However, ((and it will sound cliche i guess)) but i learned/realized that I have sooooooo many amazing friends and brothers here. I must have been so annoying with my crying, lol, but I think I realize now, maybe more than ever that I do have a great group of friends who are here for me.
So, hysterical crying was friday night. Well, pretty much every1 knows why so theres no need 2 get into it, but I do feel better. Saturday night was a great night. Hung out with the Infinity's House cast at Colemans, a real great group of people, made some new friends. Then, i came back here, hung out with brothers, chatted online. Flip, Kirtis, Luanne, Katie and I had a lil slumber party in the common room of our suite and that was fun. It's true moments like that which are really part of college. I do feel loved after this weekend, and yea, not everyhing happens the way it plans out, but knowing you have a great group of people who are there for you makes you happy :-) |
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| ZBT!!! |
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| 11:53pm 24/02/2004 |
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mood: content
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I dunno what happened to me, but I've decided to become a ZBT brother. I really like the guys in the frat and I'm really excited for this very new experience. i'm worried about how much time it'll take up and how that'll impact rehearsal for the musical. but, nonetheless, i'm very excited about becomming a ZBT brother.
so, things have been goin really well here. it's been over a month and I'm so much happier here than I ever was in Plattsburgh. I'm not looking forward to leaving for spring break cause I'm gunna miss you all sooooooo much. I love oswego so much, but I haven't forgotten my wonderful P-burgh people. I do miss you guys and I plan to come visit in the very near future.
i feel really content and happy for now, cause "everything in life, is only for now" |
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| some sex and the city inspiration |
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| 12:54pm 15/02/2004 |
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the following is courtsey of anne trying to imitate the wonderful carrie bradshaw.
What is it that makes us attached? And when you are attached, how attached do you have to be to not let go when you have to? We have the reasons right there to get out, but yet, we stay, making ourselves miserable. Will we ever learn?* ~ Inspired by Sex and the City. :-) |
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| i really like this |
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| 10:31am 15/02/2004 |
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HERE IS A NOTE FOR ALL OF YOU BUMMED OUT ABOUT VALENTINES DAY (or Single Awareness day as a girl in Ithaca mentioned): It is a day like any other day. Be happy that you're here. Be happy that you feel. Be happy that you can get up and do something. For those of you who, like me, spent it as a bachelor or bachelorette - be happy for that freedom. Understand that you are who you are, with or without a boyfriend or girlfriend. For those of you who are having problems with your better half, it is only for now. EVERYTHING is only for now. What's meant to work out will work out. And if it doesn't work out with this person, well at least you'll know you tried. That's what life is. Trying. But don't give up. Just because Valentines Day was shitty doesn't mean you should give up. These things happen. I myself have not had a real Valentines Day EVER, but this year, today, I was happy. I was happy to be single. I'm content with my life. You don't need someone there to make your life great. You can do that on your own. Just know that you can get through anything you set your mind to. |
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| vday sucks, and other news |
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| 10:08am 15/02/2004 |
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mood: disappointed
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The musical is "The 1940's Radio Hour". We perform here at SUNY Oswego April 23 and 24th at 8, then May 1 at 8 and May 2 at 2. Hopefully it will be warm by then.
I play a character named Biff Baker; I've heard its a good role and I get to play sax in the show which is pretty cool.
i also don't like valentine's day. it feels like it's been forever since i was in a relationship on this day and no matter what anyone says its very sucky to not have someone on this 1 day. i really need to get over chris. we dated for a week, broke up, and we're still super close; he's like my best friend but i can't seem to lose the romantic feelings for him. it's like, when we broke up nohing changed; ya know what i mean? but he told me that the "feeling" for me is gone, but i can't stop hoping it'll come back. i'm sure in a few weeks I'll be over him but it doesn't change the fact that I feel like I need someone. Gunna stealsomething from a friend's journal, i hope he doesn't mind. "I want to be with someone. I want someone to hold me as they go to sleep, someone to kiss me and mean it, someone to talk to me fight with me argue with me go out with me make love to me be there for me. I want a Valentine." i just want to find my valentine. everytime i think i found someone they stop liking me. i know i'll find someone eventually, but i've never really struggled to get over somebody till chris. for those that don't know him he really is super awesome. he's nice, thoughtful, caring, talented, intelligent, super cute too hehe :-) his personality, his smile just light up any room and i'm so lucky he's my friend, but I cant stop wishing it was more with him. he was my 1st new good friend here, my 1st boyfriend and even tho we broke up, he's my best friend. it just sucks wanting your best friend in a way they no longer want you and i need to stop hoping that it can again be more.
i just get lonely sometimes, and i miss lying next to someone in bed, and i'm going to stop writing now. least i'm in the musical, musicals always make me feel good. i need to be an actor, i feel whole when i act. |
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| musical |
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| 01:42am 13/02/2004 |
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mood:  energetic
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I GOT INTO THE MUSICAL!!! YIPPIE!!!!!! |
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| been awhile |
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| 01:45am 03/02/2004 |
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mood:  thoughtful
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Oswego has been amazing. I've made amazing new friends and I am for the most part really REALLY happy. i just love the people, the atmosphere, the theatre dept. i feel more at home here. its also hard to hate a place that gives you 2 snow days in a row!!! i even had a boyfriend. i'm still kind of confused abt myself sexualiy wise, but i loved being with him and i'm glad we're still great friends. he was my 1st new friend here and least we're still friends.
all in all, i feel very happy here and thats important 2 me, very important. i feel like i 'm part of sumthing. it's hard to put into words, but i love oswego sooo much.
to every1 who has welcomed me, the new friends i've made, thank you, you guys are such a huge part of me right now and i cant thank you enough. |
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| LOVIN OSWEGO |
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| 02:04am 24/01/2004 |
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mood: ecstatic
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MAJOR MAJOR THANKS TO TOM FOR DESIGNING MY LJ!!! IT LOOKS SOOOOOOO GOOD.
yesterday we braved a HUGE snowstorm, but we made it to Oswego. Registered for classes and I have a prtty good schedule. Mon, Wed, Fri I have only 1 class, its from 1:50-2:45. Tues and Thurs I have 4 classes in a row. 3 theatre classes and an english. I am now officially an Oswego State Student and I'm really happy. I'm not sure exactly what it is about Oswego, I just feel so much more at home here. Maybe it's 1 of those things that just can't be explained. The theatre dept seems really cool, met some of the professors today and I like em. I think over the next few weeks I'm really gunna love it here.
i also have to give a special shout out to elyssa. |
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| I'M 20!!!!! |
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| 03:49am 15/01/2004 |
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mood: rejuvenated
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HAPPY BDAY TO ME!!! I AM NOW OFFICALLY 20 YEARS OLD......SO i'm ALMOST 21!! kewl :-)
had a really fun day with matt windman. matt; i dunno if u read this but i had a wonderful bday thanx to you. you really are a good and true friend. ya know, i need to stop worrying abt HOW many friends I have and really start cherishing the friends i DO have and the friends i soon will meet at OSWEGO!!
so, matt and I went to the city today for the David Letterman show taping which is really cool. before that tho, we went to Toys R Us because today is kareoke Wed!!! I sang "The Impossible Dream", Matt did "Tommorow"
Then we went to the taping and it was really really cool. I still like Leno more but just being there during the taping and imagining myself working there or anywhere in the entertainment business was ALOT of fun. I think Ilana was right, i'm not supposed to be a psychologist. I need to be in the entertainment business. Actor, stage manager, whatever, SOMETHING. i really wish i could just know what i'm supposed to do; but maybe, ya never know.
so yea, today was a great day. 2morrow, I'll prolly see Cassi!! HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY!!!! noooo she's not married, we've been friends for 20 years!!! wowowowowoowowowowow.
i'm doin good, no troubles as of right now (of course i do start a new school soon)alex and i are still really close and that makes me happy.but i really do need to learn to not get attached so easily.
goodnight |
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| DAMN YOU SUTTON FOSTER |
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| 12:52am 14/01/2004 |
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mood: amused
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had a fun day today. before meeting good ol matt windman at the gershwin so we could try our hand at the "Wicked" lottery, i went to the Virgin megastore and bought Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" and "American Gods" and Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray". I'm looking forward to reading them.
so i met matt and we put our names into the Wicked lottery and we did NOT fucking win. which was disappointing. then we went to get student rush tickets at Thoroughly Modern Millie.
on the way to Hooters for dinner we got tix for David Letterman for tomorrow (MY BDAY!!!!)
so we get to Millie round 745 and we realize at like 750 that FUCKING SUTTON FOSTER IS ABSENT!! so we run out, RUNB LIKE HELL to wonderful town and it started at 7!! we try taboo and they wont sell us ANYTHING. so we go back to Millie, refund our tix and then go home.
so yea, pretty fun day which makes up for yesterday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!! |
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